I knew it was coming, but I thought I would have more time. I thought it would be a few more weeks, that maybe with all the busy and all the transition, maybe I would avoid it altogether.
The other day I was praying with and for someone when it happened. Something snapped in me. All of the toughness, the steeling myself for what lies ahead...all of the resolve...the rationalization...just broke down. I want to blame it the chiropractor or some sketchy sushi. But I think it is just raw emotion.
In about four weeks we will be leaving the healthiest, most passionate, most authentic community of faith we have ever been a part of. We will leave some of the best friends we have ever had. Asher will be saying goodbye to his first friends. We will be leaving the place our kids were born.
This is tough.
No amount of excitement for what lies ahead can account for the emotions wrapped up in leaving here. That flood of emotions began to descend on me...and it is a bit early for all that blubbering. There is still much to be done.
But I guess if we never stop to get some perspective, to let ourselves feel our emotions, aren't we running from something inherent to the image of God in us? We see that image of God often described in our wits, in the imprint of what is good and what is not, in our creativity and our wisdom. But what about our emotions?
God seems to get a bit emotional at times. There are moments in the Scripture when I get a little embarrassed, like I am reading His diary, something too intimate for my liking. Jesus Himself gets angry, depressed, sad, and frustrated (also happy...he tells some great jokes). Emotions, like reason, come from our identity as the children of God. Often I don't like this, but it's true. Look it up.
I like to think I can live above my emotions, and that they are a lesser part of who I am. I like to think I would be better off without them. Yet I cannot escape them. They are a part of me and they are a part of how God made all of us. We are emotional beings.
For me, the flood of emotions has started. I think I will have some rough days over the next month, but I trust that God has an incredible plan for us and for Hopesprings, and that this adventure we are on is worth any tears that come with it. This flare request is for Summer and me, and for the people of Hopesprings in Bangor, that we would be able to ride the roller-coaster of emotions in a healthy way that reminds us of God's love for us and for the communities in Bangor and Sioux City that He is sending us to.
What about you: Any emotions you have been fighting off that maybe you need to let yourself feel and be affected by?
No comments:
Post a Comment